What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 17.06.2025 07:08
I couldn’t, believe it.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Why are Indians so influenced by the Western culture, when the Indian tradition has so much to give?
All the time i was locked up.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Im still living with it.
What are the best ways to treat seasonal allergies?
I had hoped to write a book about this .
She found it foreign!.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Why was Boromir corrupted by the One Ring, but not Faramir in The Lord of the Rings?
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
This is soul school!.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But ive been too sick for many years..
When gallery photos are deleted at the same time, why are Google photos also deleted?
My life is so biszare .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
My family never makes their pension either.
Why is every human messed up in some way?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
How can a hacker damage me, realistically?
She loved him until the end.
I write beautiful poetry .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
If you received hand-me-downs as a child, how did they make you feel?
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Put me off passion for life!!
And i lived it daily.
Seven replies to the viral Apple reasoning paper and why they fall short - Hacker News
I was seconnd youngest,
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Why is the Middle East prone to terrorism?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Has anyone tried bestiality and been caught?
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Especially a lifetime of it.
What is the dirtiest thing you have allowed your husband to do?
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Was to survive, this bastard.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I was 9 years of age.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I will be 64.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Comes on , in middle age.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I have no regrets .
When she asked me how she looked .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
She married twice! .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
So, i spoilt her more .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Would this be the day?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
As i do to all so called friends.?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
We were not on the streets..
What did i know ?
I was scared of men, in general
One cannot live in the past .
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I think the readers, may guess!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
So whats the point in blame.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
It was going to be , some day.
She was in good health!
I never cut or harmed myself..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
(And it was in our own minds.)
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
He knew the spot.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But, we were locked up after school.
We all went to grammer schools
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Ive learnt so much.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He resisted the act ,that day.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But it wasn’t much.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Who then, do I blame.?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I don,t even have a pension.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I was very sick at this time too.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Why did i forgive my father ?
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
She wouldn,t have been !
I said to her
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I waited trembling.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
My mum and dad in the seventies!